16 April 2021

Setting Her Free

Here goes it, diving right on in, with what I would say is one of the most destructive phenomena of our generation:  social media and the never ending comparisons—of peoples’ curated (ahem, fake) lives, and the resulting horribly sad cycle of insecurity feeding insecurity.

So this is what I’m going to say:

I promise to show up as me.

Usually I’m found with snacks in hand, messy curls pulled back, about as sweaty as a 300lb linebacker, covered in pet hair of all varieties, and a face mostly unfixed save tinted UV and a touch of undereye concealer when I’m feeling a little gnarly.

I will post unfiltered, including videos in their entirety (editing out only setups and anything that wastes your time). I will inevitably use the wrong words while instructing, and topple out of balances while demoing, leaving the mistakes for you to witness. While I agree it’s not always appropriate, I came out of the womb cussing like a sailor and so that’s bound to slip in too.

This is not because I have anything against cleaning up your appearance or your deliverables to feel tip top. It’s simply because that’s actually how you will find me any given day. I will strive to be a “me” that my childhood friends would recognize, my family would be proud of, and strangers will feel welcomed by.

Does that mean you do as I do? Hell no. You do you girl! While I look borderline homeless 98% of the time, I’m not a complete slouch. I care about my house, my job, my health, my relationships, etc. and I work hard to make them great. AND there are about 7  times per year, that I show up looking smashing in a scandalous dress with naughty cat eyes that make both men and women blush. Just ask my exes, I’d put money on the fact that images of me on those special occasions still keep them up at night.

I feel sexy and empowered both ways. And, other times I feel dark-eyed and dumpy.

What I won’t do is pretend that I’m something I’m not or pretend that the effort isn’t there. I will be an open book with respect to where I’m at and what I’ve been through including cosmetics, genetics, hard work, ass-kissing, mental health struggles, personal support,.. on and on. When I tighten things up for appearances, I’ll be straight about it.

I’m not doing this thing, whatever it is, to make me something to worship on a stage or on a page. I’m doing this to be human with you.  To lift us all up. One by one. Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race …I know, I know, don’t hate. I’m an 80’s baby and that song nestled deep!

Anyways,  it doesn’t matter if you love to get glammed up and contour everything from your earlobes to your ass crack. It doesn’t matter if you pay a designer to do your Christmas decorations on par with 5th Ave in NYC so that you can kick your feet up by the fire, feeling merry and bright without ever lifting a finger other than to bring your hot totty up to your lips. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been binging on Heartland and Happy Meals for 3 days, bathing only with a package of towelettes while promising you’ll pull it together on Monday.

What matters is the lies that we are telling each other (or truths we don’t share). Sister to sister. They misrepresent reality and cause people to doubt their own value. And the extent to which that acts as gaslighting, makes me committed to pushing my perfectionist tendencies to the side in the spirit of honoring the sisterhood.. humanity. Bros you’re in on this too!

So that’s it. That’s my oath to you. I promise to be real.